Life Moving Onward

Crazy thing. I don't miss my ex. I miss the idea and the level of closeness with another human being, but I don't miss him. I think the reason is that I simply don't trust him anymore is because he killed all of it. In August of last year, he begged me to trust him not to cheat on me and I did everything I could to comply. Then barely 4 months later— he breaks up with me by saying he cheated. Also— literally sleeps with someone else like a week or two later. A few months later in April, I did let him back in and he did the same thing in May. I don't trust him at all anymore and I don't miss him. I don't miss the constant worry or trying to stop him from getting high off pills. I have no intention of ever being in that situation again. Now if I could only find someone else... but that has turned into a harrowing long experience. I wish I was normal and could just go with the flow like everyone else I