I wrote in a previous post at the end of January about a lot of the details (see: https://www.andreasartland.com/post/dealing-with-heartbreak). It is now the beginning of March, so it’s almost been 3 months.
I am feeling better. It helps that I got a new job that pays enough to let me stay where I want. I didn’t want to move unless it was somewhere better, but given the psychotic housing market in Indiana— it is unlikely. He had somewhere to go. I did not. I have a dog, two cats, and a fish tank. Although, technically the cats are his— they’re still with me and I am the one taking care of them.
I had to change my phone number because he kept calling me, but he still didn’t want to be together. He still wanted to be friends and I am not having it. It’s too confusing because I do still have feelings for him. I wasn’t the one who left. He did and I just don’t want to be around him anymore. I want a clean break, but he still won’t take his stuff. When he comes over to get his stuff— he only leaves with one or two things. It’s like he is purposely dragging this out. My family wants me to leave it out front or throw it away. I just can’t. I doesn’t feel right to me. I am finally getting the last of the bills and responsibilities switched over to me because I didn't have a job until late January since November and my first paycheck was in mid-February. This is the first week I don't feel too much of the financial constraints from my unemployed period. I have credit, but it is mostly exhausted. I am okay and will be completely recovered by August financially (which is a lot sooner than I would be if I didn't find a much better job), but it is slow going.
I am throwing myself in projects. I even made some songs I will be turning into either an album or an EP— within the next few days and more to come on that endeavor. I am still in school. I am exercising, but that is slow going. I am giving myself some tasks to do to take my mind off of him.
I am slowly becoming okay, but I never want to see him again.