This is What I Wanted?

I write a LOT about heartbreak— simply because I have WAY more experience in heartbreak than love. I met someone who I thought would change all of that. Again, I am broken. Again, my world falls apart. I have a LOT of insecurities that manifest deep uncertainties that are at times difficult for anyone to put up with. I was thankful for that moment in the sun. I hope it won't be the last.

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Broken Again

I stand here

broken again

Has it really been 3 years?

I wanted to keep you near.

The fear,

manifested in our relationship

before we were even tied at the hip

I told you I don't know what I am doing.

Love is such an uncatchable experience

It flows like water from my own hands

Like money

Like most things in life

couldn't hold onto it alone.


When you looked behind you,

I felt you slipping away.

Even though you bought an engagement ring,

you were looking at others like the catalogue of a magazine.

I felt the burning of jealousy

I didn't understand why you didn't want to marry me.

As broken as I am,

I can now understand.

You asked for my hand in December,

But I will no longer ask for closure.

You set a fire in my heart

and threw me in the ocean.

You expected the flame not to burn out.

But here I am again lost in the sea

Because you want to leave me

And bury me like the others

How could I expect anything less?

When I am not the best?

Being alone suits me

I can build my nest

And get things off my chest.

I never had a chance

because you never knew me.

Wedding Kiss
Heart Pierced with Sword
Broken Heart
Heart Pierced with Sword
Beach Wedding